i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
