As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
