I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
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I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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