How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
