this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
