once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
