I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
