You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
