i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize