Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Houston, we have a blender
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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