My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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