you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize