Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
