What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
4 words: hood of his car
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
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We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
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