Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
