RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
