I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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