had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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