Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
