hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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