too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
pop tarts are not kleenex
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
