i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize