make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
