OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
