Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
