The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
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i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
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I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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