thus making me awesome and them whores
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
