You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
