i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
