yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
