Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
they need to just BURY HIM!
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
