So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize