so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize