I've blown a few things in my day
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
