You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
