I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
