We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize