I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
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