Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
