I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Two words: nipple clamps
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