I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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