So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
