So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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