Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
