I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Oh god it's open bar.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
