Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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