Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
