Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
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I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
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Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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