we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
My vagina is very pro this idea
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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