I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
