Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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