if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
