Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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