I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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